Footprints Charm

Almost immediately following my miscarriage, I knew I wanted to buy some sort of special pendant to remember my baby and carry him with me. The one that called to me was the “baby in my heart” pendant from Miscarriage Memories and even though it is expensive, I bought it and wear it all the time.

However, I also kept thinking “I am going to have footprints on my heart forever” and I wanted a footprints charm for my husband to put on his keychain. After a LOT of searching, I found just what I wanted on etsy. I bought one for my mom and dad each as well and the one for myself I included as part of Noah’s necklace.

Ever the bargain hunter even in grief, they are so, so much cheaper from etsy than from various grief/loss websites, which I felt like were exploiting people by selling similar pendants for $40. (And, yes, the “baby in my heart” pendant was $40, but I felt differently about it because the pendant was based on the woman’s own 14 week ultrasound picture and she designed it herself, etc. And, I also felt “justified” in getting it because that is just how I feel, like my baby will always be in my heart—plus, since my Noah died at 14 weeks, it seemed perfect for me. Sometimes she has the pewter version on ebay for around $11). But, the footprints on the heart are meaningful to me as well because I feel like any lost baby, however small, leaves footprints on its mother’s heart forever.

Very strangely, as I was actually writing this post, I got an email-newsletter from Family Tree Glass (love them!) and their newest pendant is this:

What an odd coincidence!


9 responses to “Footprints Charm

  1. Thanks for this, Molly. I have been thinking about getting one of these necklaces for a while now. My lovely homebirth midwife, who lost her baby a few months after I lost mine, got herself one similar to your footprints on my heart one. I loved it – she looked so serene and at peace, and it really to me acknowledged that this baby was a part of her and a part of her family.

    But I have been avoiding getting my own, even tho she gave me the business card of where she got hers, and I have browsed the website repeatedly.

    My worry is that by wearing it, it will invite questions or comments that I do not feel strong enough to deal with. I do not want to wear my heart on my sleeve with this – I find that too many people don’t ‘get it’, and I end up scrounging around to try and get some understanding when they think I should have moved on by now.

    But I really really want one.

    What do you say when people ask you about it? My heart is hurting so much that I don’t know if I want to be inviting more hurt by wearing the necklace…especially when everyone seems so convinced that I should be ‘over it’.

    Thanks for bringing it up though – it has made me think again about the issue, which brings my thoughts of my baby up, which makes me feel closer to my little one 🙂

  2. Perhaps you could get one and just wear it under your shirt? That way you have it close to your heart, without having your heart on your sleeve. Sometimes I tuck mine down into my shirt.

    I’ve been wearing mine for 5 months now and have only had a tiny handful of inquiries about it. It may be the same for you. And, the only people who commented on it were close friends who said, “oh, you got a new necklace” or “what’s that”–to which I just held it out for them to see better and they said, “that’s nice.” So, it actually hasn’t caused any commentary to speak of at all. One day I’d like to see someone else wearing one and to talk to her!

    Where did your midwife get hers?

    Best wishes making your decision. I think you will like having one and will be unlikely to put in awkward positions with it.

  3. Sorry, Molly – I only just saw your reply. My mw got her necklace from – it’s just lovely. I still am undecided, but appreciate your insights. Thnx for your response 🙂

  4. Pingback: What Helps Most After a Miscarriage… « Footprints on My Heart

  5. Well, this is awkward for me… but I’ve been trying to get the fetus in the heart pendant for a while. I’m 19 years old, and my girlfriend and I lost a child that I ended up getting very close to… I hope to be able to find it, because I would like to get one of both me and her. It would mean the world to her.

    • Hi Marcus. I came across this website and saw that you were looking for a fetus in a heart pendant. I am a jeweler and I actually created exactly what you are looking for. I wanted to start selling them online, but figured I should make sure that some one else hadn’t already had the same idea as me. Well after reading and seeing this blog I realized that someone already had. I wish I could make one for you, but I wouldn’t want a lawsuit on my hands. I can however help you out. I found a pendant called the “choose life” pendant by Deborah J Birdoes. You can buy online. It is a baby in a heart. I personally think my design was a little nicer, because the baby looked more like a baby… but I shouldn’t gloat. Anyway I hope this helps you out. Best wishes and I am sorry for your loss…

  6. How do i order top charm??

  7. can somone help me and tell me were i can get the same pendant as the picture of the baby in a heart as seen at the top of this page me and my girlfriend lost a baby and have had that pendant tattood on us but i want to buy the same pendant for her it as to be that one please help me

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