Pregnancy Tests

I had a rough day yesterday. Since I didn’t have a D & C after my miscarriage and because I had some “issues” with the placenta not coming out until 6 days following the baby (see post to follow), I have been paying special attention to make sure that this process is really over and that there are no remnants left in my uterus to cause any trouble. I took a pregnancy test last week in order to check for myself whether any HCG was still present in my system. The test showed a faint positive. I was still experiencing postpartum bleeding, so the positive didn’t concern me really, I just knew I needed to check again in a couple of days. It also made me feel weird and sad to see the positive result. So, I took another pregnancy test yesterday and it was negative. Hallelujah!  Just as it should be. What a wonderful and amazing body I have. Right?! Oh. My. Goodness. I couldn’t believe how horrible I felt seeing the blank test. It was awful. Instead of feeling grateful and relieved, I felt like this horrible weight of finality. Yes. This is really ALL over. No baby. I’m NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE. So, while obviously, I am very grateful and relieved to have confirmation that I am physically back to “normal,” I was completely unprepared for the emotional impact of seeing the negative result. It was rough. 😦

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