At sunset on the day of my miscarriage, we had a ceremony and naming for the baby. My father had cleaned up the baby’s body and put him in a walnut Shaker box (that he made) and my mom crocheted a little blanket for the bottom of the box and a cover for the baby. We each added some items to the box with him. I chose three readings from the UU hymnal Singing the Living Tradition. This was the naming reading I chose:
Wonder of Wonders
Wonder of wonders, life [was] beginning
fragile as blossom, strong as the earth.
Shaped in a person, love has new meaning,
parents and people
sing at their birth.
Now with rejoicing, make celebration;
joy full of promise, laughter through tears,
naming and blessing
humble in purpose over the years.
I then shared that we named the baby Noah.
Earlier in the day, Mark and I talked about what to name the baby. I felt it had been a girl and suggested Ava and then we said perhaps we would choose Noa, after a dream I had several years ago, because it was a boy-or-girl name. When my parents came back over bringing the baby in his box, my dad asked if I wanted to know the gender. I said yes and he shared that the baby was a boy. So, I knew it was Noah (boy version) after all. This was not a name on our “list” of baby names, but was instead prompted by a dream I had when my first child was between 6 and 12 months old. I had a very vivid birth dream in which I gave birth to a premature baby in a hospital bathroom alone at about 20 weeks. The baby slipped out into my hands and was still alive. I tried to nurse him, saying that I didn’t want him to “die hungry.” I also remember to smell his head—knowing that each new baby has their own special smell and you never forget it. Then, I called my husband in and said, “we have three sons!” and we named the baby Noah. What was odd about this dream is that we only had one son in real life. I had several subsequent dreams with the same “now we have three sons” language, so I’ve always wondered if somehow we were destined for three sons. So, to me, Noah felt like the right name for this baby.
And, yes, I did turn to Mark after that and say—in real life this time—“we have three sons.”